i jhust puked up my retainher.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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