I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
