You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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