I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
