So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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