i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish I only lived at night.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
