idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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