windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He better not be in your backpack
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
