FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
