perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
