Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
