just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
