need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
