he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
