Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
