so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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