I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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