sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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