She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
