You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
