it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
