So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
