I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
well you can't waste a boner
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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