no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
