i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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