Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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