I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
