I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How does one acquire holy water?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
