why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
