lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
