you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
