Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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