Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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