Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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