Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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