I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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