New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
