butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
