I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
