Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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