Since when is my name a synonym for head?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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