Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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