Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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