Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize