They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
