Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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