Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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