Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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