I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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