does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
