nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
