I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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