Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize