the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
