is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
