my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
