I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
