yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
