i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
